She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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