remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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