You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
