This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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