Do vagina's smell?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
