I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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