I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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