and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
