Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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