I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
