another moral hangover. fuck.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
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Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
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Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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