I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
