yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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