so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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