If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
