She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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