i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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