the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
