Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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