You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize