He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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