Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
