she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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