You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
