I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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