Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize