i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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