I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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