life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
