I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
