Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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