she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
