and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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