Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
