It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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