IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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