I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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