Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is Oprah even human
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
