And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
