two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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