I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
