I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
