How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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