apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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