the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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