my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
