How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
