I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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