her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
