We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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