I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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