Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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