I just cut my nipple shaving
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize