What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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