tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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