Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
