Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
