I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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