so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
