so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
